While in the heat of the moment of a typical toddler meltdown you have 2 options: Dream of what it was like before kids and deeply wish you could go back. Or … Be a present father, love them, do the absolute best you can do in this moment. Take a deep breath, and help that child put on their sock that they are more than capable of doing by themselves, yet refuse to do so today. All so you can take them out to go get some ice cream as a family. Isn’t this fun? During this time where you want to pull your hair out you look at your wife who has the same expression on her face and say, “Why are we doing this?”.
But after the ice cream has been purchased, the sticky faces and hands are cleaned, and the smiles are back on your kids faces comes the other side. You look at your wife who is now as content as the children. You enjoy the moment people watching, answering any and all questions posed by young kids: “Why is her hair blue?” “Daddy can squirrels bite?” “Daddy can we watch a show when we get home?” “Can I try your ice cream Daddy?” and you know why you are doing this.
Kids aren’t always terrible and I love mine more than anything in this world. But they most definitely are not the picture/video perfect angels that social media and other parents will desperately lead you to believe. That beautiful family photo on everyone’s feed. It took 20 minutes, 3 tantrums and 1 or 2 lucky click of the photographers camera to capture. It took 45 minutes to get the kids ready and out the door. The majority of the photo shoot itself is an acrobatic effort to keep those outfits clean until that magic shot is taken. But the pictures turned out wonderful and the Mrs. is extremely happy with that end result. It will get posted online for all to see with a quote underneath leading all other parents to believe that we have it all figured out. Our kids are perfect. Far from the truth, no one is perfect. Not even the influencer parents online.
So what is my point? Where am I going with this?
I am a father of 2 and work full time in the skilled trades. My family and I deal with the same issues most others do (work, family pressures, trying to figure out parenting). I noticed that every dad online was taking the silly, funny route. That everything is always perfect in their skits and they all seem to have ample amount of funds to afford anything and everything. I never really seen a dad in my situation. One that gets up before the sun, puts in a hard days work. Someone that is in the trades and is okay with being real, vulnerable and show that life isn’t perfect. That is why I am starting this blog. I want to share my perspective and be a voice for the fellow blue collar dads out there.
Every parent has had the ” Nobody told us about this” moment. Or the “You have no idea until you’re in it” realization, and if it hasn’t come yet. Hold on fella it’ll be here soon. So I want to share my experiences, good and bad and some of the lessons I have learned and continue to learn daily. I don’t want to come across as ” The Perfect Dad” because I am not, and neither are you or the TikTok dads. We are all doing this for the first time and all are trying to do our best. I want to be transparent because that is who I am as a man so I refuse to fall into an “Internet Persona”. I do not expect you as the reader to agree with everything I write about. That is the beautiful thing about parenting. Everyone has their own style, beliefs and values. What works for my family may not work for yours and vise versa. That is okay and maybe we can learn a bit from each other.
Kids are incredible. They are little sponges soaking up the world around them. They are resilient and determined little beings. They can drive you absolutely up the wall. Then melt your heart and give you the biggest smile a few seconds later. They want to learn everything they can from anyone who will teach them. Hopefully as fathers we can do our best to teach and guide them as much as we can. Mom’s are important no doubt about that. Dad’s are just as important. So please give yourself some grace. Take that deep breath. Do the best you can do and just try to dad as only you know how.
Thank you for reading my very first published post. This is something completely out of my norm and very new to me. I am excited and hopeful to share my thoughts and ideas here. I hope you continue to come back to see my progress both as a writer and father.
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