It is a normal day, as far as you know. You’re eating dinner or getting home from work or maybe watching the hockey game. Next thing you know here she comes or there she is. Maybe her phone is hidden to get your reaction, to get that perfect or not so perfect Instagram post. Maybe she looks nervous or like something is up. Ultimately you’ll end up with a pee stick ( yes I know, pregnancy test) in your hands. A set of lines, a smiley face,a positive sign or even a weeks indicator will be staring you in the face. Here come the emotions: Ecstatic, thrilled, nervous, anxious maybe even scared. All are perfectly normal. She will be waiting for you and feeling all these same things. Give her a hug, tell her you love her, celebrate and buckle up because life has instantly changed.
Pregnancy can be easy for expecting Dads. We might gain some sympathy weight, at least I did (twice). We learn what Baby Brain is and what affects it has on women. This is the side of her brain that only comes out during pregnancy. This wonderful side affect is responsible for her putting freezer items in the pantry and forgetting to turn the stove off at times. I love to cook and look forward to sharing meals on this site that our family loves. While my wife was pregnant I got to experience her craving her favourite meal asking me to make it for her one minute, and being repulsed by it seconds later. We get to watch her grow. We also get to experience all the hormones that come with her growth. This includes her being happy and excited then angry and sad all at once. Magical. We get to feel the kicks in her belly on our hands and attend the ultrasound appointments. These are the fun things.
Then come the other “fun” things. Painting and repainting bedrooms, bathrooms and every room in your house. Because babies care what their new home looks like. Building and moving furniture to create “The Pintrest Perfect Nursery”. Then comes the maternity photo shoot. It might be winter, it is freezing outside and she is ready to pop ( maternity photos are usually a month or less from her due date). She is hot, uncomfortable and ready to be done. She has ordered multiple dresses off Amazon and she looks great, but doesn’t like how she looks in any of them. Yet here we are outside, cold in a chosen outfit to compliment her dress. We are posing in all different ways, kissing her belly, shivering and capturing a beautiful milestone. Sympathy weight included the pictures turned out great you can’t even tell we were freezing. All sarcasm aside I understand pregnancy is hard on women and even harder on certain females. It is amazing what they go through to produce a child and how that changes them.
It can be hard on Dad too. There is an intense urge to prepare and provide for your new family. Suddenly you feel like you should be working as many hours as you can to make as much as you can because baby is on its way. It can be overwhelming and you ask yourself a bunch of questions: How do you be a dad? What kind of dad will I be or want to be? Do I want to be like my dad? Can I do better than my dad did? How do you even be a dad? Am I ready? It can be scary. Take a deep breath it will be okay. Read the books, seriously read them. Talk to co workers, friends, family(or read a blog) who have gone through it. Listen to their advice and filter out what may or may not work for you. Do the online or in person classes. Trust me it all helps and it may ease some of your anxiety or fears. That will help you manage her feelings and fears along the way.
Pregnancy is a major change to any relationship. It will put you to the test as a couple and a lot of big emotions both good and bad will be set out on the table. Anything can and will happen. Be mindful of your words, a simple joke in your mind can make her feel terrible for a long time. Remember that she is the most vulnerable she has and ever will be at this time. Be there for her, even when she thinks she doesn’t want you. There will be arguments, there will be tears, there will be endless trips to the store to satisfy cravings. Enjoy it!
It feels like an eternity waiting for your new baby at times, but this is the time to take advantage of things you took for granted. Enjoy uninterrupted full nights of sleep. See your friends whenever you can. Lounge around all Sunday afternoon watching football in peace. Take care of just you and only you. Go on date nights together without having to arrange childcare. Admire your home before it becomes completely taken over by stuffed toys, blankets, and every child accessory available. Look at your wife/partner and admire who she is now, soon she will become someone you never thought you’d meet ( in a good way) and you’ll love her even more. This will be the easiest 9 months of the rest of your life.
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